he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Randomize