She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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