Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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