then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
