You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
