nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
