Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
