So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
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