I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just pee around me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
