My brain says no but my pants say off.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
