Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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