The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
