He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
