i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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