Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
