She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
