Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
