I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
