I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
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