If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize