So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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