He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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