You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
