i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize