You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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