I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
