I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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