Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
