With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize
