she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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