i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
