Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
