What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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