I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
