took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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