Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
