i jhust puked up my retainher.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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