Say something about gay babies.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
