Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
