the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
