If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
