I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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