That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
