Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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