I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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