will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
