cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
