I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
