I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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