Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
