Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
