Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
