If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
