Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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