Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
