i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
