you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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