This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
