'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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