I don't remember. Are we still dating?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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