I'm really into asian looking animals
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
