made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
