she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
