she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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