And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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