i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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