sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
