3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
