his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
