just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize