I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am naked and annoyed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
