When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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