just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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