You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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